E 230: Healing the Part That Resists: Transforming , Procrastination, and Self-Sabotage: Guest Kam Knight

Speaker A: 00:00:47

Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.

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Today we have with us Cam Knight.

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He's a mentor, international speaker, and best selling author of a dozen books in the area of mental, emotional and physical performance.

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He is known for bringing fresh solutions and insights that are a rare departure from traditional ideas.

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His books have become gold for people which have helped over half a million people in the world.

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So welcome, Cam.

Speaker B: 00:01:16

Thank you very much, Tammy.

Speaker B: 00:01:17

I'm happy to be here.

Speaker A: 00:01:18

Yeah, it's exciting to have you here because I think before we got on, we were just starting to talk about something I was actually reading about this morning, which is kind of ironic, but that is our internal resistance to either getting things done, doing what we want, or just stopping ourselves from being who we want to be.

Speaker A: 00:01:35

Really.

Speaker A: 00:01:36

So I know you are an expert in that field, so I'm going to just ask you to start right in and talk about just what is internal resistance for the people that don't know.

Speaker B: 00:01:49

All right, great.

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So I'll talk a little bit about my background and how I came to the topic, and that'll be a really good segue into not only understanding what resistance is and then diving deeper into it.

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So as far back as I can remember, I've been a fairly driven individual.

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I've always wanted to do more, have more and accomplish more in life.

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And although I've had my fair share of success, I always felt like I missed a mark or fell short or that success was much more difficult and challenging than it needed to be.

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And I always wondered why that was.

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Why is it if I want to do something, I know what to do, I know how to do it, and I have the motivation and desire to do it, but for one reason or another, I can or don't do it.

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Now, at the time, there were no clear answers.

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Some of the answers that I came across was that you need to have better beliefs or you need motivation and discipline.

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And I always felt like there was more to it.

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And over the last 15 to really 20 years, that question lingered in my mind.

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Every time I felt stuck, I wondered why?

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Why can't I get stuff done?

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Why do I keep spinning my wheels?

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Why don't I just do this damn thing so I can get the result that I want?

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And the more books I read, coaching I did, and seminars I intended, the more I learned about the complexity of the human brain and the more I began to realize, hey, wait a minute, there's a part of our mind built to hold us back.

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There's a Part of our brain designed to keep us from growing and making progress.

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And I call this part resistance.

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And it's a brick wall that we hit anytime we want to do something, but.

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But we can't, no matter how much we want to do it.

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And to understand resistance, it helps to understand that the part of the brain that creates wants and desires works separately and independent of the part that allows you to act on that desire.

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So this is really important, so I'm going to say it again.

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The part of the brain that creates wants works separately from the part that allows you to act on that want.

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So you have one part of the brain that's creating wants and is really creating endless wants one after another.

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It doesn't check to see if you have the time, energy, or resources to achieve it.

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It just creates wants.

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But then you have another part that gives a green light to act on that want.

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And this is the part that checks to see if you can go after it.

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And now what's really interesting is it's possible for the brain to both create a want and desire and at the same time keep you from going after it.

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And that's what resistance is, is this part that keeps you from going after it.

Speaker A: 00:04:35

So is there, Let me ask you, is there?

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Because I deal in this, on this podcast, there's a lot of people that came from this traumatic backgrounds, and, you know, we talked about ACA in the beginning and everything.

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And there is scientific evidence that part of your brain changes with trauma.

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Does that have anything to do with it?

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Which parts of the brain are one?

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Which is the want, which is the going after it part?

Speaker B: 00:04:57

Yeah.

Speaker B: 00:04:58

So, interestingly enough, both parts can get in the way.

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The parts that create wants can get in the way, and so can the parts that are responsible for going after the wants or the part I call resistance.

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Now, what's really interesting is anytime that we have a want or desire, that that want gets filtered through this part resistance, using a whole host of criteria.

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And if the desire is not in line with the criteria, the brain will prevent action.

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So it helps to think about standing in front of a panel of judges or board of directors.

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Every decision that comes up must go through them.

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And if even one of the members is against the idea, it will not pass.

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So the way to look at it is that anytime we want to do something, it does filter through our brain using a host of criteria.

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And what our brain will look at is, hey, does this align with our beliefs?

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Whether our beliefs about the world or ourselves, does this go against our habits Is this going to make us go against our comfort zones?

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So these are some of the more commonly known criterias that get talked about in personal development.

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But then the deeper stuff is, is this going to be in line with our self image?

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Is this going to create bigger problems for us in the future?

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And then trauma comes in into play as well, because the brain will filter to our past and see what happened when we tried to do something similar.

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Or what is our world like that we live in?

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Where if I do this, am I going to face difficulty, challenging and things.

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Things of that nature.

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And if a person has had trauma, then it becomes much more difficult to do things.

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And I know you talked a lot about or you had brought up, you know, there's changes that happen in the brain.

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I personally think a lot of these changes are more emotional level.

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And I think trauma is repressed emotions.

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And if we can release it, I do believe that those changes can be improved.

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In fact, one of my mentors, he was pretty against the idea of disorders.

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And in the beginning, it didn't really make sense to me.

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I'm like, like this stuff is real.

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Like you could see it and all that.

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He was big on the emotional aspect of it.

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And the more I learned from it and the more I did my own emotional work, I could see why he thought that.

Speaker B: 00:07:34

And I kind of agree with them.

Speaker B: 00:07:35

I think a lot of our challenges that we're experiencing is more on the traumatic, repressed emotions and just not understanding emotions enough type of level.

Speaker A: 00:07:47

No, that makes sense.

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And honestly, emotions are at the base of absolutely everything.

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There's.

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I mean, I have a biofrequency scanner, and literally it reads your voice, and it can tell you 150,000 things about what's going on in your body based on your voice, which is reflection of emotions at the end of the day.

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So it's really kind of, kind of interesting.

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But I think what I was referring to, maybe I was.

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I misspoke when I said that was the part like the prefrontal cortex, like they've shown that trauma shrinks that part of the brain.

Speaker A: 00:08:22

That's why I was wondering, you know, where that kind of came into play.

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But walk through an example of, just hypothetically take a situation so that you can make it very clear for the listeners.

Speaker A: 00:08:34

Okay, this is what I want to do.

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Give me a real life example and then the process that your brain goes through and how it kind of filters and does that.

Speaker B: 00:08:45

So I can give a couple examples of how resistance can show up based on certain criteria.

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So the one of the more uncommonly known causes of resistance is that a person is too afraid to confront their self image.

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So many people have created self images for themselves, whether that's they're cool, studious, tech savvy, or that they're a great artist, musician, comedian, or they have this great story.

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But they won't study, apply themselves, or put themselves out there because if things don't go well or they experience difficulty, they have to face the fact they're not this great self image they created for themselves.

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So it's much easier to not do the thing and hold on to that self image than to do it and face the possibility of proving it wrong.

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So this is where one reason resistance will come up is because we created a self image that we're better than we think we really are.

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And if we do something, it might show that we're really not.

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And it might be too painful to confront that another has to do with facing something bigger.

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So a lot of times the brain will prevent us from doing something not because it doesn't want us to do the task or activity, but what finishing or completing that task or activity will lead to a brain.

Speaker B: 00:10:13

I see this pattern a lot with inspiring authors.

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Many people want to write a book, tell their story, and get their message out into the world.

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And now it's a publishing becoming easier than ever.

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I can give a person some really simple tips and tricks to quickly write and publish a book.

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Many will start, but very few will finish.

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Why?

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Because finishing it will mean facing something bigger they're avoiding.

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Once you finish the book, you got to market it and put yourself out there.

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Many people aren't at a place to put themselves out there because they don't want to receive the feedback and criticism.

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So it's much easier to procrastinate and sabotage yourself now than to finish the book and face the criticism and feedback later on.

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Another one which actually goes deeper has to do with core pains.

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So as human, we have all sorts of needs, such as the need for love, attention, affection and approval.

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And some of these needs are deeply ingrained into us, like the need for a mother's love or a father's guidance.

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And when we don't receive it, it's painful, it hurts a lot.

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So much so that it can make a person go crazy.

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That's how deeply ingrained these needs are.

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Now, if growing up and this is where some of the trauma piece can come in, a person doesn't have these needs met and their brain learns these needs can't be Met, won't be met, or is too dangerous to be met, Their brain will prevent them from meeting that need.

Speaker B: 00:11:51

Makes sense, right though, because these are core needs, the need doesn't go away.

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It just gets louder and stronger and more painful.

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But since the brain believes these needs can't be met or is too dangerous to be met, it feels it has no other choice but to distract us from the pain.

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Now, there's many ways the brain will distract us, and one of them is by making our lives difficult, challenging, and keep us from finishing anything we start.

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So our focus is always on problems and not the pain.

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And I have a really great story to illustrate about this.

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So I knew someone who wanted nothing more in life than the love of his dad, but his dad never gave it to him.

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And it hurt him.

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It hurt him a lot.

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So much so that it was painful for him.

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And.

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And so it was so painful, he ended up living a life, living paycheck to paycheck, never being able to make ends meet.

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And the reason his brain did.

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The reason his brain did that is because there was this core need of a father's love that couldn't be met.

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And if his brain allowed him to finish what he started, his life would be good.

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And if his life would be good, this pain would be at the forefront of his awareness.

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So his brain kept sabotaging him, keeping him from being able to finish anything started to distract him, the pain of not receiving this core need.

Speaker B: 00:13:22

So this should give you an idea of some of the criteria the brain goes through in terms of whether it allows us to do something or not.

Speaker B: 00:13:31

And, you know, this gets pretty deep, and I've just given maybe six criterias, but there's like dozens and dozens of things that can cause the brain to help progress.

Speaker A: 00:13:44

So going and putting it in kind of a perspective for the people that are listening that have heard my words and, you know, my terminology.

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It's like that.

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It's like that, the.

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Just that fear, that fear of abandonment.

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And that's what your brain is there.

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Your brain is wired to keep you safe.

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So, yes, you're not going to try new things because of the anticipatory outcome of it not being safe, or you not getting that validation, or you not getting that love or whatever it is that you need.

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So your brain is like, nope, stop.

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You know, just not going to do it right now because of what could possibly happen.

Speaker A: 00:14:18

And that's a lot of the work that we do, is that anticipatory, and your brain can be tricked.

Speaker A: 00:14:23

So talk about what you work with people to how they can overcome this, like how they can.

Speaker A: 00:14:30

Like they see it happening.

Speaker B: 00:14:32

Yeah.

Speaker B: 00:14:32

So there's.

Speaker B: 00:14:33

Go ahead.

Speaker B: 00:14:35

So there's a couple things you say that I want to rip on.

Speaker B: 00:14:38

You said fear.

Speaker B: 00:14:39

What's really important to understand is resistance doesn't come from fear.

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Fear is a response to resistance.

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So resistance uses fear to stop us or prevent progress.

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So if a person feels fear, it means that there is a criteria that wasn't met.

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And so the brain is triggering the fear to prevent forward action.

Speaker B: 00:15:06

Now, what's really important to understand is when the brain stops forward progress, it doesn't tell us that it is.

Speaker B: 00:15:13

It doesn't say, hey, Tammy, you know that thing that you're trying to do or well, it goes against our self image, so I can't let you do it.

Speaker B: 00:15:22

Or, you know, that goal that you have?

Speaker B: 00:15:26

Well, if you accomplish it, it will expose some of these core needs that we've been suppressing from you.

Speaker B: 00:15:33

So we're just going to sit here and do nothing?

Speaker B: 00:15:36

That's not how it works.

Speaker B: 00:15:37

The resistance manifests other ways.

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And it actually, our brain uses a lot of manipulative tricks to, to keep us from taking action.

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And you wouldn't think of them as tricks, which is why they work so well and why we fall for them so easily.

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So one of the ways to help people overcome this is to help them identify the tricks.

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And there's many tricks that the brain will use.

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In fact, I go as far as to say, anytime you're not able to do something or move forward in life, it was probably some sort of trick your brain was using.

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And it can go and as far as getting sick, getting into a car accident and things of that nature.

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But some of the more simpler tricks can be like a person will put off the task or activity or goal until later.

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So they'll push it off until tomorrow and then next week and then next month and then next time.

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And every time they say later tomorrow or next time, they're convinced that it will be the next time.

Speaker B: 00:16:42

But when the next arrives, they keep pushing it off.

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And what I tell people who have resistance or that might be in resistant is anytime you hear yourself say later, next or one more, be very careful because it might not be later, next, or one more.

Speaker B: 00:17:02

And it's a trick that your brain is using on you, and it's just going to string you along for another later for another one more.

Speaker B: 00:17:09

And so a lot of people who have resistance resonate with this.

Speaker B: 00:17:13

There are other tricks which include Making excuses, creating bottlenecks for themselves and things of that nature.

Speaker B: 00:17:21

So this is a really important piece of resistance, but when it actually comes to taking forward action, it really depends on where that person is at.

Speaker B: 00:17:32

So some people are really good at getting excited about things, but not starting.

Speaker B: 00:17:39

Other people are really good at starting things, but they fall off quickly.

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Other people are good at sticking with things, but somewhere down the road they sabotage themselves.

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And.

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And then there's other people who are good at getting to that finish line, but they don't continue doing what got them to the finish line.

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So they fall off.

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And so we take a different approach based on where they're at.

Speaker B: 00:18:06

If someone is good at starting thing then.

Speaker B: 00:18:10

Or getting excited and.

Speaker B: 00:18:12

But they don't really start.

Speaker B: 00:18:13

It's really important for a person like that to pick one want or desire and cut out the rest.

Speaker B: 00:18:20

Pick one thing that they can work on and no matter what other shiny object is coming their way, not to think about, worry about, or consider them until the first is finished.

Speaker A: 00:18:33

Okay, so I was gonna say give me an example of that, please.

Speaker B: 00:18:36

Yeah, what do you mean?

Speaker A: 00:18:38

Like, give me a real life example.

Speaker A: 00:18:40

Because I'm getting.

Speaker A: 00:18:41

I'm getting very big picture.

Speaker A: 00:18:44

Big picture.

Speaker A: 00:18:45

Yeah, but we want people to be able to.

Speaker A: 00:18:47

I mean, we know procrastination.

Speaker A: 00:18:49

We know like all of the people that I deal with all deal with procrastination and making excuses and having these things.

Speaker A: 00:18:55

And we know it's all coming like, like you said, it's not like your brain jumps out and says, hey, Tammy, this is why you're doing this.

Speaker A: 00:19:01

It just does it.

Speaker A: 00:19:02

It comes from your subconscious.

Speaker A: 00:19:03

It just does it.

Speaker A: 00:19:04

So let's say these words come up later, next time.

Speaker A: 00:19:10

So let's say I'm doing a project and I know I want to get up on stage and I want to do this.

Speaker A: 00:19:14

And I hear myself saying, well, I'll do it later, because right now I just don't have the time.

Speaker A: 00:19:19

Yeah, talk to me about what you.

Speaker A: 00:19:21

What you tell your.

Speaker A: 00:19:22

What you tell yourself and the story steps to make yourself do it.

Speaker A: 00:19:27

Make aware of what you're doing.

Speaker B: 00:19:29

Well, so I know I give a lot of information and I gave a lot of big picture as well.

Speaker B: 00:19:35

So when it comes to something like when someone says later or next time, awareness is really important, which is why I said, like, really pay attention to yourself anytime you're saying next, later, next, or one more.

Speaker B: 00:19:49

Those are all really important.

Speaker B: 00:19:52

And so if you're catching yourself, it's really important to ask yourself, am I really going to do it later, next or one more, or is this just a trick of resistance?

Speaker B: 00:20:03

And if I am, when am I going to do it?

Speaker B: 00:20:07

And actually think about the exact time and moment you will take care of that thing and more than likely you will find that you haven't really thought that through.

Speaker B: 00:20:21

And if you haven't thought that through, it means that you're likely not going to do it later or next time.

Speaker B: 00:20:28

And more than likely you should do it immediately because.

Speaker A: 00:20:32

So the answer is to physically say to yourself, okay, I know you're stuck in this procrastination cycle.

Speaker A: 00:20:40

You just have to do it.

Speaker A: 00:20:41

We're going to do it because of the next time we say later, it's going to be later and later and it snowballs.

Speaker A: 00:20:46

So you're, your tip is just nip it in the bud, realize that you're stuck in the cycle and just do.

Speaker B: 00:20:53

It with that particular resistance.

Speaker B: 00:20:56

You don't want to push it up till later, no matter what.

Speaker B: 00:20:59

The reason the desire is even coming up in that moment is because you have the time and the ability to do it then.

Speaker B: 00:21:06

But resistance is saying do it later.

Speaker B: 00:21:09

So you have to do it then.

Speaker B: 00:21:10

You got to figure out, call up the energy to do it then.

Speaker B: 00:21:13

Yeah, for that particular form of resistance.

Speaker A: 00:21:15

Yeah, okay.

Speaker A: 00:21:17

Yeah, that's what, that's what I'm looking for.

Speaker A: 00:21:18

Because we know we all have these things.

Speaker A: 00:21:21

We have stack of pending things that you want to do or we know that our bodies.

Speaker A: 00:21:26

I know you said that fear resistance causes the fear, not the fear causing the resistance or that way.

Speaker A: 00:21:33

But at the end of the day it's like I just go back seven wise deep.

Speaker A: 00:21:37

Like when, if I go seven wise deep, I get to the true reason that I'm not doing something and then you can tackle that.

Speaker A: 00:21:45

So like I'm using the stage.

Speaker A: 00:21:47

Like I, I have to write a speech and I keep putting it off and I know I have to write the speech, but I keep going, well, if I put it off, you know, it just.

Speaker A: 00:21:55

But I have to one, make myself do it, give myself an ultimatum and say, tammy, it needs to be done, you're going to do it.

Speaker A: 00:22:01

You can't avoid this forever.

Speaker A: 00:22:03

What are some other tricks that.

Speaker B: 00:22:06

So then I'm sure you probably heard of it, but this one works really well, which is called micro commitment or microhabit, where you make a commitment just to write one sentence of the speech or practice one line of the speech, or sit down to do like one very little thing of it and that reduces the resistance a Lot, because a lot of times resistance comes up is it's thinking, oh, I'm gonna have to grow on this for an hour or two, and I just don't feel like doing it.

Speaker B: 00:22:42

But if you tell yourself all you have to do is that one little piece, and if you don't want to do anything more, you don't have to, as soon as you sit down to do it, more than likely you're going to want to continue.

Speaker B: 00:22:56

So sometimes it's just getting started, which is really helpful.

Speaker B: 00:23:00

And then.

Speaker B: 00:23:02

So then the second part of people who.

Speaker B: 00:23:05

The various challenges people have is people are good at starting, but they're not sticking with what they started.

Speaker B: 00:23:11

So for.

Speaker B: 00:23:12

The solution for that is a technique used in meditation.

Speaker B: 00:23:18

So the trick to meditation.

Speaker B: 00:23:20

So there's two types of medication.

Speaker B: 00:23:22

One, you're either holding something in your head, like a thought or an image, or you're trying to keep anything from coming up.

Speaker B: 00:23:30

Now, it's nearly impossible to do either.

Speaker B: 00:23:33

But the trick is not to clear your thoughts or hold something there forever.

Speaker B: 00:23:39

The trick is as soon as you fall off, you jump right back in.

Speaker B: 00:23:44

As soon as you fall off, you jump right back in.

Speaker B: 00:23:46

So this is huge because people who have resistance, when they make a mistake, they feel very negative.

Speaker B: 00:23:52

Or when they miss, like if they're trying to be consistent doing something on a regular basis and they miss a day or two, they feel really bad.

Speaker B: 00:24:01

And that very thing keeps us from continuing.

Speaker B: 00:24:06

But to know that as soon as you fall off and you catch yourself, yourself go through that self beat up, but just jump right back in.

Speaker A: 00:24:14

So that's.

Speaker A: 00:24:15

That's huge.

Speaker A: 00:24:15

A good example I use is the gym.

Speaker A: 00:24:17

You go to the gym once and then you're like, oh, I did this.

Speaker A: 00:24:20

And then as soon as you miss a day, you're like, oh, yes, darn, you beat yourself up.

Speaker A: 00:24:24

And you're like, oh, well, I guess I might as well not do that anyway because it wasn't working because I couldn't get there.

Speaker A: 00:24:29

And you literally talk yourself out of it and bam, have it gone.

Speaker A: 00:24:33

Where it's like, like you said, just jump back in.

Speaker A: 00:24:35

Get yourself, make things.

Speaker A: 00:24:37

Habits.

Speaker B: 00:24:38

Yeah.

Speaker B: 00:24:38

And I want to.

Speaker B: 00:24:39

That's a really good point you made because that's actually a trick of resistance.

Speaker B: 00:24:44

The resistance will make you skip one of the days.

Speaker B: 00:24:50

So then you can feel bad because it knows once you feel bad and beat up, then you're going to lose your motivation to go back.

Speaker B: 00:24:58

And a lot of times you may actually be doing well and a thought in your head will come up and say, you know, you've been doing really well, you've been really consistent, you deserve a break.

Speaker B: 00:25:11

As soon as you take that break, you go into self beat up, you lose that motivation and then it starts to start, it starts to spiral downward.

Speaker B: 00:25:20

So no, that's also a trick when you hear that voice, like it's okay because you've been making a lot of good progress.

Speaker B: 00:25:27

And again, the key is as soon as you fall off, just jump right back in and you're gonna fall off again.

Speaker B: 00:25:33

So just jump right back in.

Speaker B: 00:25:35

Like nobody, almost nobody I know can stay consistent with something for extended period.

Speaker B: 00:25:41

We all have moments where things, other things take more priority or other things take more attention.

Speaker B: 00:25:48

And, and we're not going to be able to be as consistent as we told ourselves we will.

Speaker B: 00:25:54

And it's okay.

Speaker B: 00:25:55

All that matters is once you have the time again or you realize that you missed a day or two, just jump right back in.

Speaker A: 00:26:04

Absolutely.

Speaker A: 00:26:05

I love that because it is, it is hard and it's like you said, this is dealing, this is dealing with stuff that is so suppressed.

Speaker A: 00:26:12

It's beliefs that you don't even know you have and you don't know why you do it.

Speaker A: 00:26:16

And that's the biggest thing.

Speaker A: 00:26:17

And that's the power of the mind.

Speaker A: 00:26:18

That's the power of like neuroplasticity, of rewiring those.

Speaker A: 00:26:23

Yeah, those habits and those beliefs.

Speaker A: 00:26:25

It's so vitally important because like you said, the little tricks and I've not really heard it.

Speaker A: 00:26:30

I mean, I know what resistance is, but I've not really heard it in that perspective.

Speaker A: 00:26:36

Like I guess, you know, as far as.

Speaker B: 00:26:40

Oh yeah, there's also.

Speaker A: 00:26:41

I know, go ahead.

Speaker B: 00:26:42

Yeah, there's all sorts of tricks.

Speaker B: 00:26:44

Like have you ever wanted to do something and then you're like, you imagine to do it as big and as amazing as possible.

Speaker B: 00:26:55

Like you want it to wow people.

Speaker B: 00:26:58

Well, that's a trick because as soon as you do that, you make that task or go much bigger than it has to be.

Speaker B: 00:27:06

And now that it's so big, it feels so overwhelming.

Speaker B: 00:27:08

And because it feels overwhelming, you get exhausted just thinking about it.

Speaker B: 00:27:12

And then of course you don't start.

Speaker B: 00:27:15

And so there's all these other things that come up that the brain is doing, causing us to pull us out of any idea or thought of moving forward in our lives.

Speaker A: 00:27:28

And it's funny because I know your brain is there to protect you, but I also go from the other aspect of it where we are such a world of abundance and everything that I feel like after 20 years of working on self growth stuff like my brain, yes, it gets scary, but that's where I go back to.

Speaker A: 00:27:49

With me, it's fear.

Speaker A: 00:27:50

Like what if, what if, you know, I'm like.

Speaker A: 00:27:53

I picture myself on a stage not with 12 people, but with 7,000.

Speaker A: 00:27:58

And it's like, well, you know, of course your body's gonna have a little resistance, but it's like fight through that.

Speaker A: 00:28:02

I think of Wayne Dyer all the time, which, you know, he talks about that.

Speaker A: 00:28:06

He talks about the biting, you know, how to eat an elephant, one bite at a time.

Speaker A: 00:28:09

And he talks about unpacking, the little micro commitments, which I love.

Speaker A: 00:28:15

Yeah, it's a different, It's a different way of looking at it.

Speaker A: 00:28:17

So it's interesting.

Speaker B: 00:28:19

Yeah.

Speaker B: 00:28:19

I think again, going back to what you just said about what, what Dane.

Speaker B: 00:28:23

Why are.

Speaker A: 00:28:24

Dane Dwayne Wayne Dwyer.

Speaker B: 00:28:27

Yeah, I'm not even attempting now because.

Speaker B: 00:28:32

So there's a lot.

Speaker B: 00:28:33

There's really two main school of thoughts when you listen to personal development.

Speaker B: 00:28:37

It's like, go big, go hard.

Speaker B: 00:28:42

No pain, no gain.

Speaker B: 00:28:44

You know, push as much as you can.

Speaker B: 00:28:47

Only one life to live.

Speaker B: 00:28:49

And that's great for the high performers and the people who don't have resistance.

Speaker B: 00:28:54

But for people who have resistance, you have to take a completely different approach.

Speaker B: 00:28:59

And it's about taking a one day, one step and one piece at a time.

Speaker B: 00:29:04

Focus on that one thing.

Speaker B: 00:29:06

Once that's done, then focus on the next thing and the next thing.

Speaker B: 00:29:09

The reason I came to the topic of resistance is because I've had a lot of resistance in my life.

Speaker B: 00:29:15

And the reason I've been able to come up with all these reasons is because, you know, I. I struggle with a lot of them and including some of these tricks that were keeping me from moving forward.

Speaker B: 00:29:26

But I have managed to travel to over 100 countries, I have written over a dozen books, and I have done some pretty amazing stuff that wasn't even in my bio.

Speaker B: 00:29:37

The reason I was able to do that is because one, I'm well aware of my tricks now.

Speaker B: 00:29:42

I know when tricks are coming and I can weave through them.

Speaker B: 00:29:45

So when I hear things like later or next time, I'm like, gotta do it now.

Speaker B: 00:29:50

Or when I hear some of the other things, I tell myself like, oh, this is gonna.

Speaker B: 00:29:55

Let's make this to be really big and extravagant, I say no.

Speaker B: 00:30:00

But the other thing I do is I just show up one day, one step at a time.

Speaker B: 00:30:05

To write a book is pretty big endeavor.

Speaker B: 00:30:07

You know, it can take months and years to write a book.

Speaker B: 00:30:09

And all.

Speaker B: 00:30:10

All my books I wrote prior to ChatGPT.

Speaker B: 00:30:13

So it took a long time.

Speaker B: 00:30:15

And when I wrote the books, my initial goal wasn't to write something amazing.

Speaker B: 00:30:21

My initial goal was just to show up every day and write.

Speaker B: 00:30:25

And the more I showed up and wrote and the more I had, the more I could focus on making it better.

Speaker B: 00:30:31

And then making it better versus starting off thinking is going to be amazing.

Speaker B: 00:30:37

Overwhelming myself and then getting tired just thinking about it and not showing up.

Speaker B: 00:30:43

I took a different approach.

Speaker B: 00:30:45

And this is something, when I coach authors, it comes up a lot and it could help people with resistance is that a lot of times when people are taking on a big task, they worry about steps.

Speaker B: 00:31:00

They worry about things in the wrong step.

Speaker B: 00:31:03

So it's really important.

Speaker B: 00:31:05

Like when we're first starting to write a book, I tell them, don't worry about making it perfect, neat, coherent.

Speaker B: 00:31:12

Just get thoughts on paper.

Speaker A: 00:31:14

Right.

Speaker B: 00:31:15

Because a lot of authors tend to be overwhelmed by trying to make it perfect in the beginning.

Speaker B: 00:31:19

I'm like, that comes later.

Speaker B: 00:31:21

So worry about that step later.

Speaker B: 00:31:23

And so there are moments where you do certain things and then.

Speaker B: 00:31:29

And then you wait for other steps to do the other things.

Speaker A: 00:31:33

Right.

Speaker A: 00:31:34

Perfect.

Speaker A: 00:31:35

Well, this has been.

Speaker A: 00:31:35

I love this.

Speaker A: 00:31:36

It's like I said, it's a totally different.

Speaker A: 00:31:39

It's two different approaches to it.

Speaker A: 00:31:41

And it's kind of like you said, kind of going deep, but almost going around.

Speaker A: 00:31:47

I don't know how to really describe what I'm trying to say with what the resistance.

Speaker A: 00:31:50

I mean, I just have not.

Speaker A: 00:31:51

Have not used the word resistance with my clients, people that we deal with.

Speaker A: 00:31:55

But it's procrastination, like you said, changing your mind, thinking too big and then being.

Speaker A: 00:32:01

Then don't getting anything done.

Speaker A: 00:32:03

The overwhelm, like all of that could definitely avoid all of that overwhelm and basically shut down.

Speaker A: 00:32:10

Because your brain shuts down eventually when it does handle too much.

Speaker A: 00:32:16

Yeah.

Speaker A: 00:32:17

So if people what you coach, you write books, if people want to find out more about you, where's the best place for them to find you?

Speaker B: 00:32:24

So I've got a free grip for everybody.

Speaker B: 00:32:26

It's five ways to end procrastination and sabotage.

Speaker B: 00:32:30

And it may seem like a very simple topic like procrastination and sabotage, but it goes very deep into the mind as to what's causing it and not to fall prey to those tricks.

Speaker B: 00:32:45

And they can get that by texting the word flow flow to 2-6-786.

Speaker B: 00:32:53

And if they wanted to get my other information, whether it's my books.

Speaker B: 00:32:57

I have a course called Conquer Internal Resistance.

Speaker B: 00:33:00

It goes really deep into not just the want.

Speaker B: 00:33:03

We didn't even talk about the want because our want can be.

Speaker B: 00:33:06

Can create challenges.

Speaker B: 00:33:07

It discusses a lot more reasons for the resistance.

Speaker B: 00:33:11

And what I tell people is the reasons don't matter so much as the tricks.

Speaker B: 00:33:16

You have to be aware of the tricks because you can understand, you can come to why you're doing what you're doing, but it doesn't really change anything.

Speaker B: 00:33:27

Understanding the why, but once you can understand the tricks and how it's stopping you, then you know how to move forward.

Speaker B: 00:33:35

And then it has other ways to move past that.

Speaker B: 00:33:38

And they can get that at my website@camknight.com K-A-M-K-N I G H T.com.

Speaker A: 00:33:45

Perfect.

Speaker A: 00:33:46

So I will put all of that in the show notes so that if they're driving or whatever.

Speaker A: 00:33:50

But it's cam night.

Speaker A: 00:33:51

K A M Cam night.

Speaker A: 00:33:53

Like knight in shining armor.

Speaker A: 00:33:55

Just like it sounds.

Speaker A: 00:33:56

And thank you so much, Cam.

Speaker A: 00:33:58

This has been enlightening.

Speaker A: 00:33:59

Like I said, a little bit different of a perspective than I've heard before.

Speaker A: 00:34:03

So it's nice.

Speaker A: 00:34:04

I think we interchange words.

Speaker A: 00:34:05

Like I think I use different words.

Speaker A: 00:34:07

I think when I say the why, it's knowing the tricks.

Speaker A: 00:34:11

Like the why is the trick to me.

Speaker A: 00:34:13

You know what I mean?

Speaker A: 00:34:13

Like, I go, why do I do that?

Speaker A: 00:34:15

Well, it's because it's my brain saying so, but it's, it's, it's all the same thing.

Speaker A: 00:34:21

At the end of the day.

Speaker A: 00:34:22

You have to, just like you said, be aware.

Speaker A: 00:34:25

Know when these things come up and you become aware of a habit, pattern, a thought, whatever it is that you have these tools.

Speaker A: 00:34:32

So I love that.

Speaker A: 00:34:33

So thank you for that.

Speaker B: 00:34:34

Yeah, no problem.

Speaker B: 00:34:35

And I just want to leave with one last thought.

Speaker B: 00:34:37

You hear that quote?

Speaker B: 00:34:39

You are you your worst enemy.

Speaker B: 00:34:41

Well, it's this part of the brain, it's resistance that's stopping you.

Speaker B: 00:34:45

That is the enemy within.

Speaker B: 00:34:47

And it's really important to understand the enemy because once you can, it's much easier to win the battle.

Speaker A: 00:34:55

Amen.

Speaker A: 00:34:57

Amen.

Speaker A: 00:34:57

I love it.

Speaker A: 00:34:59

So before you leave, I don't know if that was your tip or trick.

Speaker A: 00:35:01

Maybe it was.

Speaker A: 00:35:02

I always ask the guests to leave the listeners with one last piece of advice or something to take with them.

Speaker A: 00:35:08

Maybe something they could do today to start on this journey.

Speaker B: 00:35:13

Yeah.

Speaker A: 00:35:13

What would that be from you?

Speaker B: 00:35:14

So that wasn't.

Speaker B: 00:35:15

So that's good because this is going to be really important.

Speaker B: 00:35:17

The last piece of advice that I want people to understand is that wanting does not equate to having.

Speaker B: 00:35:26

This is really important, so I'm going to repeat it.

Speaker B: 00:35:28

Wanting doesn't equate to having.

Speaker B: 00:35:30

Just because you want something doesn't mean you'll take the necessary steps to go after it or do it.

Speaker B: 00:35:36

And the reason I say that is because the brain can convince us and that we will.

Speaker B: 00:35:41

We will take unnecessary steps.

Speaker B: 00:35:43

And then when it's time to take his steps, the tricks start coming up by telling us to push it up or making excuses or making things bigger or making things feel overwhelmed and so many other tricks.

Speaker B: 00:35:56

So just know, because you want something, realize that there's a part of you that's gonna put up a battle or it's gonna fight back.

Speaker B: 00:36:07

And as long as you can prepare for that, it'll be much easier to move forward if you think you can just do it because you desire it.

Speaker B: 00:36:14

More than likely, once the resistance kicks in or gets engaged, since you won't be prepared, you'll fall for the tricks and likely not make the progress that you could have.

Speaker A: 00:36:27

So, perfect.

Speaker A: 00:36:29

Well, thank you.

Speaker A: 00:36:30

And thank you again for so much for coming on.

Speaker B: 00:36:32

Yeah, no problem.

Speaker B: 00:36:33

Thank you for having me, Tammy.

Speaker A: 00:36:34

You're very welcome.

Speaker A: 00:36:35

For everybody else out there listening, you heard it.

Speaker A: 00:36:37

Just because you want it doesn't mean that your body and your brain has the tools right now to go out and seek it and do it and take the action.

Speaker A: 00:36:45

So get cams.

Speaker A: 00:36:47

He called it the five ways to end procrastination and sabotage.

Speaker A: 00:36:50

Go ahead and grab that.

Speaker A: 00:36:51

Because if it gives you just one more tip or one more trick or one more thing that you can use, when you become aware that you fallen into these patterns or that your brain is not always, always, always your best friend at times, it wants to keep you safe.

Speaker A: 00:37:06

So go get the stuff.

Speaker A: 00:37:09

Take.

Speaker A: 00:37:09

Take the advice.

Speaker A: 00:37:11

Try it.

Speaker A: 00:37:12

And hopefully soon you will break down some of these resistance battles and you'll start winning them.

Speaker A: 00:37:17

So you all have a blessed week, and we will see you back.