Episode 277
E 277: How to Build Resilience When Life Falls Apart, Guest Tom LeNoble
In this powerful episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction, Tammy Vincent sits down with executive leader, resilience coach, and international speaker Tom LeNoble to explore the transformative power of resilience and how life’s most difficult experiences can shape us into stronger, more compassionate human beings.
Tom shares insights from his remarkable journey through business leadership, life-threatening illness, and personal adversity. His perspective reframes hardship as what he calls “terrible gifts” — moments that may feel devastating in the moment but ultimately offer profound opportunities for growth, purpose, and self-discovery.
Throughout the conversation, Tom explains why resilience is not simply about bouncing back from challenges, but about learning, adapting, and evolving because of them. He describes resilience as a muscle that grows stronger the more it is exercised, encouraging listeners to shift their perspective from victimhood to empowerment.
In this episode, we discuss:
• How adversity can become a catalyst for personal growth
• Why resilience is a skill anyone can develop
• The concept of “terrible gifts” and how painful experiences can shape our purpose
• The role mindset plays in overcoming life’s most difficult moments
• Gratitude and philanthropy as powerful tools for healing and connection
• How even small acts of kindness can create meaningful impact in the world
Tom’s story reminds us that our struggles do not define us — but how we choose to respond to them can transform our lives and the lives of those around us.
This episode is an inspiring reminder that resilience is not reserved for the extraordinary. It is a skill that can be cultivated by anyone willing to face life’s challenges with courage, gratitude, and perspective.
To learn more about Tom Lenoble and his work, visit:
Connect with Tom on LinkedIn:
www.linkedin.com/in/tomlenoble
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Transcript
Well, good morning everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.
Speaker A:Today we have with us Tom Lenoble.
Speaker A:He's an executive leader, an international speaker, a resilience coach, a philanthropist, a best selling author.
Speaker A:He is also CEO of the Academy for Coaching Excellence and a leadership coach with the Miller center at Santa Clara University.
Speaker A:His best selling memoir, My Life in Business Suits, Hospital Gowns and High Heels, is now published and we're going to let him tell you about that one.
Speaker A:He's also the creator and host of the Opening Pathways podcast, a former executive at Facebook, Walmart.com, palm and MCI, and now he mentors founders and leaders worldwide.
Speaker A:But more importantly, what I think is your philanthropy, like, I feel like in listening to the podcast episodes that you've been on, everything you do or every experience you have, somehow you're like, okay, how can I help everybody, somebody else not experience this?
Speaker A:And I love that about you.
Speaker A:But welcome, Tom.
Speaker B:Thank you, Tammy.
Speaker B:It's great to be with you and I love what you just said because it's why I do what I do.
Speaker B:And it's great to be with you and your viewers today.
Speaker A:Well, thank you.
Speaker A:And also the fact that I know we're going to go into your whole, you know, your story and what happened and obviously how you wrote your book, how that came about, but just the source, the resilience.
Speaker A:And talk to me, because you've had some experiences where resilience is such a must.
Speaker B:Well, first I want to share with you what I how I define resilience.
Speaker B:I define resilience as not only getting up after you fall down or whatever, however you want to describe it, but it's really about how we grow from it.
Speaker B:I see resilience and muscle.
Speaker B:Just like you exercise your bicep or tricep to make sure you have those guns in your arms.
Speaker B:Resilience is the same thing.
Speaker B:The more you use it, the better it serves you.
Speaker B:And the great news about resilience, I love to say resilience is your greatest currency because the stock market, your title, your job, a disaster can take your house, God forbid, but no one can take your resilience.
Speaker A:And that's really your, you're, I'm a victor or I'm a victim.
Speaker A:You know, if you don't have that resilience, you're going to fall right into that victimhood and you're just going to be like, oh, woe is me.
Speaker A:This is just the way it is.
Speaker A:But if you have that resilience to be like, okay, that sucked.
Speaker A:But what can I learn from this?
Speaker A:Or what?
Speaker A:How can I grow from this?
Speaker A:Like you said, I love the comment that you made about what do you call them?
Speaker B:Terrible gifts?
Speaker A:Terrible gifts.
Speaker A:I was trying to think.
Speaker B:Yes, yes, you just, you just touched on that.
Speaker B:You know, I want to share with you and your viewers about terrible gifts because I find it to be so true, if we're open to it.
Speaker B:You know, things happen to us in life, things happen to people we love, we lose somebody we love, a relationship ends, our pet dies, we lose a job, or we get sick.
Speaker B:Terrible things happen in our lives, things that we would never want to happen or wish on anyone.
Speaker B:But here's what's true from them.
Speaker B:Whether it's a month, a year, or five years, there's often a gift from that experience, which is why I call them terrible gifts.
Speaker B:You know, my favorite story about this Tammy is this woman that I know, and she was a super athlete, like Olympiad level.
Speaker B:She went in for a minor surgery, got mrsa, had to have her leg cut off.
Speaker B:So there she sits, wheelchair, cane, walking stick.
Speaker B:You know, you can go to some dark places with that.
Speaker B:Well, she got frustrated because she didn't like the way the cane in the walking sits look.
Speaker B:So she created in her own oven in the kitchen, an acrylic cane, fashioned the handle around a wine bottle.
Speaker B:And today, this woman has a global business making these unbelievably beautiful canes and walking sticks for people.
Speaker B:So people that are in that situation can be proud of what they've got.
Speaker B:And people focus on that versus perhaps how they're perceived in their.
Speaker B:Whatever they're trying to either recover from or deal with in life.
Speaker B:Anyway, these are terrible gifts.
Speaker B:There are gifts from it.
Speaker B:I know I have had many.
Speaker A:So I'll give you just an example of mine.
Speaker A:And for the listeners out there, click.
Speaker A:Close your eyes and just picture, say picture a time in your life where you can say, this wouldn't have happened if blank had never happened.
Speaker A:Because, I mean, I know I was wanting to write a book and I was not slowing down enough to write a book.
Speaker A:I'm like, I gotta write this book.
Speaker A:And then I fell off a scooter going 15 miles an hour after a Yankee game one night with my son and four or five ligaments in my knees.
Speaker A:And like, I was like.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And the very day like that, well, the next night in the emergency room, I'm sitting there and I'm like, wow, I'm going to be able to write my book because I can't walk for three and a half months or six months, and there came my book.
Speaker A:In three months, I wrote two books.
Speaker B:Two things, two things.
Speaker B:I just heard Tammy's resilience and yes, the terrible gift.
Speaker B:Because what happens so often, and we're all different, we all take our own time.
Speaker B:Sometimes these events happen in our life and we end up wallowing there.
Speaker B:We end up living there, as opposed to saying, here's where I am now.
Speaker B:What do I do next?
Speaker B:So many of my clients, so many I find are living in the past.
Speaker B:And it's almost comical at times because we act as if there's a do over in life.
Speaker B:Or we're like those, you know how you watch videos on your phone now and there's that little button that says, back up 10 seconds.
Speaker B:Life isn't like that.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker B:So while you're hanging out and what happens, you're missing what's going on, right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Or you're ruminating about what's going to happen in the future because of what happened in the past.
Speaker A:And bottom line, stop.
Speaker A:Like you said, stop.
Speaker A:Look up at the blue beautiful sky and enjoy the moment you have right now because you'll never get that moment back.
Speaker A:So make that one the best.
Speaker B:I love to say, you're going to miss the butterfly that just flew by.
Speaker A:You are, you are.
Speaker A:And a lot of that too goes with that resilient attitude.
Speaker A:And so much more goes into resilience.
Speaker A:I remember when I used to explain resilience, I used to own a window company, which I lost, by the way, because of COVID And now I'm doing my dream job.
Speaker A:So terrible gift.
Speaker A:Perfect.
Speaker A:Terrible gift.
Speaker A:So, you know, I used to say, we used to teach resilience and we used to picture, you know, the rocky, the, you know, get back down, get back up.
Speaker A:It's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up.
Speaker A:But I 100 agree with you.
Speaker A:It's not.
Speaker A:It's more than that.
Speaker A:It's how many times you get back up and go, I got an idea, or oh, I have an epiphany from that.
Speaker A:Or that's going to move me and move the needle forward.
Speaker A:Because if you are not in your life exactly where you want to be, which you deserve to be, you got to do something to move the needle.
Speaker A:So, yeah, I love it.
Speaker A:So talk about your book.
Speaker B:Oh, this book.
Speaker B:My Life in Business Suits, Hospital Gowns, and High Heels.
Speaker B:Well, you spoke to the viewers.
Speaker B:I had this amazing career.
Speaker B:I was an executive at some of the biggest companies and really powerhouse contributions and responsibility.
Speaker B:And after that, I like to say I retired.
Speaker B:Being retired to be inspired.
Speaker B:I fell in love, got married, traveled the world, kind of pulled back a little bit.
Speaker B:I knew I had more to share and so that's why I'm doing what I'm doing today.
Speaker B:All because I'm a philanthropist.
Speaker B:But I had this great business, business suit experience.
Speaker B:I'm still doing business today, but I don't wear the suit anymore.
Speaker B:And then hospital gowns.
Speaker B:I've had two life threatening illnesses.
Speaker B:One of them I was told was terminal.
Speaker B:I've lived with metastatic cancer now for almost 14 years.
Speaker B:And as you can see, I'm still here.
Speaker B:I've been given six months to live three times.
Speaker B:I have some experience with those hospital gowns, you know, that flimsy piece of fabric that never ties.
Speaker B:Well in the back you can see your butt.
Speaker B:And then the high heels.
Speaker B:Well, I have to say you need to read the book to learn about the high heels.
Speaker B:But I'll just let you look at the COVID and what you can see is I'll just leave you with this.
Speaker B:All three of those are me on the COVID of that book.
Speaker B:The reason I wrote this book, which is a memoir that crosses over into self help.
Speaker B:I've won two book awards.
Speaker B:I'm going to be on a Times Square billboard at the end of the month with this book.
Speaker B:I'm so excited.
Speaker B:But I wrote this book because who we are today is the sum part of everything we've been in our life.
Speaker B:And there are parts of many of our lives that we either feel shame, we feel it was outrageous, we want to keep it probably private, or we just think somebody's not going to understand.
Speaker B:And I want to remind you that without all those parts, you would not be who you are today.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But on the flip side, and I'm going to throw this out to the viewers as well, I mean, that is so true.
Speaker A:I used to say my life designed me, but it didn't define me.
Speaker A:So I am the some part of the alcoholic parents, the drug addicted mother, the pimping out the drug dealers.
Speaker A:Like I am that some part.
Speaker A:That's who I, I was for a while.
Speaker A:That's what the pieces all put together and said here it is.
Speaker A:But now I'm like, okay, that's not who I am in the, in the, in the heart of the heart of the heart.
Speaker A:And that's where I took all of those lessons I learned from all of that stuff and all of those things that define Me.
Speaker A:And what am I going to do with this, like, I.
Speaker A:Terrible gift.
Speaker A:My parents, more terrible gifts, were both alcoholics.
Speaker A:I had a horrible, horrible upbringing.
Speaker A:But now I am doing what I want to do, which is helping people that grew up in dysfunction learn that they can still have pure joy, which I never had.
Speaker A:So, yes, It's.
Speaker A:It's so true.
Speaker B:So true, so true.
Speaker B:You're going to read in the book, and I hope your viewers will read it.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I keep getting comments like, I can't put this book down.
Speaker B:A guy called me and said his wife told him to leave the house because he was 100 pages in and he wouldn't do any work around the house.
Speaker B:One Saturday, she said, just take your book and leave.
Speaker B:And then people tell me, I laughed, I cried.
Speaker B:I did both at once.
Speaker B:You're going to learn that.
Speaker B:I grew up in a shack.
Speaker B:We actually called it the Shack, fondly.
Speaker B:And we had no hot water.
Speaker B:We had no refrigerator.
Speaker B:My dad brought home a block of ice every day to put in the ice box.
Speaker B:And from that to boardrooms and the stories in between, you're not going to believe.
Speaker B:But I think what you just spoke to for yourself, Tammy, is, yes, one of those terrible gifts.
Speaker B:But how we have an opportunity in life to continue and to continue to define who we're going to be, just as you said, versus letting life define us.
Speaker B:And it's so important to do this.
Speaker B:I mean, look, today I get to be a philanthropist.
Speaker B:I get to support things that mean so much to me.
Speaker B:Underserved communities, youth in the arts, first gen students, current women's issues, a host of things that I get to support.
Speaker B:And I could have had a very different life.
Speaker B:Everything I told you about, business suits and hospital gowns and high heels.
Speaker B:I was sick.
Speaker B:Those illnesses, the first one.
Speaker B:I'm in my 37th year with the cancer.
Speaker B:14 years.
Speaker B:These things could have easily derailed me from moving forward.
Speaker B:And I don't want to take away that.
Speaker B:Illness is really difficult, and not everybody can do what I'm saying.
Speaker B:All I want to do is try to inspire you to see possibility.
Speaker A:Well, you're right.
Speaker A:And you have to be able to see possibility to survive those.
Speaker A:Those illnesses.
Speaker A:I've seen so many people beat cancer.
Speaker A:Be, you know, be.
Speaker A:I've seen people that had, you know, debilitating ms, that with the power of the mind and just.
Speaker A:Just getting up and moving and exercising, even though Dr. Said, you've got a limit, you've got a limit.
Speaker A:And they're like, I know my limit.
Speaker A:Going to still continue to take peptides and supplement and, and do this.
Speaker A:And now they're walking fine.
Speaker A:I mean, you know how many people beat cancer?
Speaker A:A lot of people.
Speaker A:And a lot of it.
Speaker A:It's that resilient mindset and it's that belief and it's that faith which is just believing in something.
Speaker A:Believing in being able to visualize something that you can't see yet, and being able to see it and be there yet.
Speaker B:People ask me often, you know, Tom, you've been given six months to live, three times, you've had these illnesses.
Speaker B:And some of the stories when you read them, I want to.
Speaker B:Don't want to tell you some of it was tough, but they'll ask me, why do you think you're still here?
Speaker B:You say, I'm still here.
Speaker B:Why are you here?
Speaker B:And here's my answer.
Speaker B:I've had the best medical care.
Speaker B:I've had the best access to treatment.
Speaker B:I'm privileged.
Speaker B:But most important, underneath it all, I believed I could.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:What's that old saying?
Speaker A:Whether you.
Speaker A:You believe you can or you believe you can't, you're right.
Speaker A:Belief is a power, powerful.
Speaker A:The mind is a powerful thing.
Speaker A:I'm very into.
Speaker A:I don't know what you think of this.
Speaker A:This might be too woo for you.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:I'm very into energy.
Speaker A:Very into frequencies.
Speaker A:Absolutely, yeah.
Speaker A:I'm very into, you know, this is your energy field.
Speaker A:And, and every morning you wake up, you can fill that energy field with positivity or you can fill it with negativity.
Speaker A:And that is what everybody around you is going to absorb and feel.
Speaker A:And the ripple effect of that is astronomical.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And I encourage people to remember all of the benefits, the extraordinary benefits of gratitude.
Speaker B:Gratitude brings so many things.
Speaker B:One of the biggest ones is peace.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Be grateful.
Speaker B:Even the things that feel like there's no way to be grateful for, I promise you look around, someone's got it worse.
Speaker B:Look around, it could be a lot harder.
Speaker B:Be grateful we woke up this morning.
Speaker B:Some people, some people didn't.
Speaker A:Yeah, I mean, I've had clients.
Speaker A:When I say, wake up in the morning and just find three things real simple before you get out of bed.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Whatever your creator is.
Speaker A:I don't, I don't know if you believe in God, but whatever I say, thank you, God, for giving me another day.
Speaker A:That is the first thing out of my mind.
Speaker B:First thing out of my mouth when I wake up is, thank you, God, I opened my eyes for another day.
Speaker B:At the same time, I've made peace with the fact if that doesn't happen because I have had to face to face death.
Speaker B:In fact, I have a keynote that I'm doing that is called living fully while dying.
Speaker B:And it's three phases for me.
Speaker B:The first phase, I was living fully, as you'll read in this book, without regard to dying.
Speaker B:Then I was living fully while being told I was going to die.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Faith now is living fully while dying, realizing I was dying all the time.
Speaker B:When you're born, there are only one guarantee you're going to die.
Speaker B:Just like people think about aging, it doesn't happen to them.
Speaker B:The moment you were born, you start aging.
Speaker B:It's just when we get a little older, that proverbial light starts to get a little brighter and a little closer.
Speaker A:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker A:But you're right, it's.
Speaker A:We're all going to die someday.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And you don't know when that day is.
Speaker A:You can sit home and I know this is for the health conscious people out there.
Speaker A:Don't, don't yell at me.
Speaker A:You can sit home and you can watch every calorie and you can watch everything you put in your body and you can watch everything.
Speaker A:But where do most people die?
Speaker A:Like with less than three miles from their home?
Speaker A:Sometimes in a car, sometimes getting hit by a scaffolding, whatever it is.
Speaker A:Like, you just never know when that day is.
Speaker A:So instead of, I used to always say to my kids and they would get so mad at me, I have this 21 day cruise on my bucket list and it's like Turkey and Greece and all these places, Istanbul, all these places I would never go, like get in a plane and just fly there.
Speaker A:Well, Greece I would for sure, but.
Speaker A:And I keep saying as soon as they say I'm terminal, I'm going.
Speaker A:And my kids, like, would you stop?
Speaker A:Stop.
Speaker A:Like, why don't you just go?
Speaker B:Go?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I'm like, you know, you're right.
Speaker A:Because if I just go, it'll probably the peace and solitude of that trip by myself, I don't care if anybody goes with me.
Speaker A:Will probably add five years to my life.
Speaker B:Yes, there's more than that.
Speaker B:I happen to believe we can get woo woo a little bit here.
Speaker B:But I happen to believe there's something waiting for you in one of those places that you don't know yet that's waiting for you to get there.
Speaker B:You know, in the book when you open it, there's a quote from Maya Angelou that says every storm runs out of rain.
Speaker B:You know, the sun is shining behind the horrible storms that it can be hailing.
Speaker B:And behind all that, the sun's still shining.
Speaker B:Just like the storms in our life.
Speaker B:The sun is still shining behind them.
Speaker B:You know, storms bring a lot of rain.
Speaker B:They make the ground fertile.
Speaker B:The same thing can happen to the storms in your life.
Speaker B:My question is, just like, in that fertile, wet ground, that you can plant something after the storms of your life, what are you going to plant?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:That's a.
Speaker A:That's a great quote and a great segue into what you just said.
Speaker A:That's awesome.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's kind of like.
Speaker A:And even the bad things, you know, why this isn't happening to me?
Speaker A:This is happening for me for some reason.
Speaker A:But you're probably right about my Greece trip, because it's literally been.
Speaker A:I had a screenshot of it from the first time I saw the itinerary.
Speaker A:It's been on my phone, and I've had six phones since then.
Speaker A:And that screenshot still stays there.
Speaker A:I'm like, there's got to be something.
Speaker A:So maybe I'll just have to book the trip.
Speaker A:I don't know what I'm waiting for.
Speaker B:I'm in that camp, Tammy.
Speaker B:I'm all for that.
Speaker B:I say book that trip and go see what magic happens for you as a result.
Speaker B:You know, I love what we're talking about here because, you know, people sit and, as you said, and are.
Speaker B:And are waiting for things to happen or counting calories or, you know, I talk to people all the.
Speaker B:The time, and they.
Speaker B:They talk about their life, and some people tell me, oh, everything's fine.
Speaker B:You know, when I hear people talk about life, like, is just like this.
Speaker B:You know what it reminds me of?
Speaker B:It's like a flat line on that monitor you see on those TV shows where it's, you know, supposed to be doing it, jumping around.
Speaker B:That's not life.
Speaker B:Life is a series.
Speaker B:Life is a series.
Speaker B:We can call them ups, downs, risks, opportunities, whatever you want.
Speaker B:I happen to have learned and believe these.
Speaker B:What we perceive as down times are where we have the opportunities to learn and grow.
Speaker B:The up times, if we want to call it that, is when we get to apply those things that we learned and grew from.
Speaker B:And if we're smart, we know because life is like that we're going to get another opportunity soon.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker A:It's funny, I was talking to someone one day, I said, it's kind of like a mutual fund.
Speaker A:Everybody goes, oh, no, it's down.
Speaker A:It's down.
Speaker A:Like, run.
Speaker A:And I'm like, no, it's down.
Speaker A:Buy More, because when it goes back up, it's worth more.
Speaker A:I said, you know, it's just kind of funny.
Speaker A:But no, you're right.
Speaker A:You're absolutely right.
Speaker A:And into, but you know, living, anticipating those downs, that you don't want to do that either.
Speaker A:But when you, then they come, you want to embrace them because it's also not this smooth like this.
Speaker A:It could go, it could go high for a really long time and then dip.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:And how many people, how many of us sit around thinking about the worst that can happen?
Speaker B:We live from that space.
Speaker B:We're not here in the present.
Speaker B:We're in the future of how bad now?
Speaker B:If you look back, yes, some terrible things happen, but if you look back the, and that kind of thinking, it rarely happens.
Speaker B:And if nothing else, what a waste of time right now while it's not happening.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:I, you know, I was working with a client the other day and I literally said to her, she was waiting, she got a bill from somebody and it was like way more per month than she ever thought it was going to be.
Speaker A:And she was just so, so anxious and so stressed out.
Speaker A:And it broke my heart.
Speaker A:And I said, she goes, I know it's going to this and I know it's going to that.
Speaker A:And I know you are literally speaking that into existence.
Speaker A:I said, close your eyes and imagine four best case scenarios.
Speaker A:One, maybe being that you have to pay it for two months and then they realize it was a clerical area and they give it back.
Speaker A:2 Meaning, maybe they're like, oops, sorry, we messed up.
Speaker A:3, but picture the good.
Speaker A:Put yourself in the feeling of the good outcome coming.
Speaker A:Because if you put yourself, it's like, you know, that's where your energy is going.
Speaker A:Put yourself in that energy.
Speaker A:And she's like, wow, that actually really helped.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Thoughts become things.
Speaker A:Thoughts become things.
Speaker A:You know, and you.
Speaker A:And, and it is hard for the people listening, especially some of the people on this podcast, some of the listeners, because you've been wired because of your history to expect the worst.
Speaker A:So you need to start working with that.
Speaker A:We talk about that little inner critic or that self, you know, that little self talk person that goes, oh, I know this.
Speaker A:You don't know anything.
Speaker A:It's in the future.
Speaker A:So if you're going to make it up anyway, make it good.
Speaker A:Just like people that have blackouts of entire years of their life because of trauma or abuse or whatever, you're, you're filling in blanks when you think about what happened.
Speaker A:You go to therapy, you're you're making up those stories in your mind, assuming what happened.
Speaker A:If you're going to make it up, make it good.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Make it good.
Speaker A:So talk about.
Speaker A:I know you had a lot of experience.
Speaker A:I was laughing, too, because you said you were one of the first, I think, 47th employee with Facebook.
Speaker B:I think I. I was in the first 75.
Speaker B:I think I was number 57, but who's counting?
Speaker B:You know, that's a great story.
Speaker B:I'll tell you a little bit about it because it's in the book.
Speaker B:I was sitting at my desk at Palm one day, and I was responsible for global service operations, traveling around the world.
Speaker B:And my corporate staff had like three or four thousand people out around the world.
Speaker B:And I was going to these wonderful places that I probably would have never gone to.
Speaker B:And I got the phone rang, and it's a recruiter from this little company called Facebook.
Speaker B:Well, Facebook was still in colleges.
Speaker B:I had no idea what it was.
Speaker B:I thanked them graciously, hung up the phone, and a buddy called me that I used to work with and said, I referred you to Facebook and you didn't even talk to them.
Speaker B:I said, what's Facebook?
Speaker B:So I interviewed with Mark Zuckerberg when he was 19, and if you want to read a great story, read it in the book.
Speaker B:But I ultimately went to Facebook in the very, very early days and to set up all their customer operations.
Speaker B:A bunch of other stuff there.
Speaker B:But the interesting thing was everybody working there was 20 or 21.
Speaker B:They were all fresh out of school.
Speaker B:Yale, Stanford, Harvard, all these top schools deferring.
Speaker B:Business school, medical school, you name it, law school.
Speaker B:Because Facebook was in colleges and it was their dream job.
Speaker B:Well, here I come.
Speaker B:I was old enough to be everyone's father.
Speaker B:In fact, my next book, that's what it's about.
Speaker B:I'm telling a story of my life at Facebook.
Speaker B:The adult in the room.
Speaker B:Because that's what they called me, the adult in the room.
Speaker B:And I'm going to tell some fun stories about those crazy early days at Facebook through my eyes.
Speaker B:Being old enough to be everyone's father.
Speaker A:That's funny.
Speaker A:I actually laughed because I was like, wow, it's funny how life just kind of throws things at you.
Speaker A:Yesterday I did an interview with a gentleman, Anthony Spark, who is second cousins to Mark.
Speaker B:I know, I know.
Speaker A:Anthony, do you in that funny?
Speaker A:So I was laughing.
Speaker A:I was like, well, that's kind of weird.
Speaker A:Like, it came up twice, that name, you know, and it's kind of a joke because I just, I'M not good with names.
Speaker A:But anyway, I always just called him Mark.
Speaker B:I do, I do know, Anthony.
Speaker B:I tell you a fun story too, for your viewers is when I left, I said to Mark, I want to see you in 10 years.
Speaker B:And mark said, well, why do you want to see me?
Speaker B:You're leaving.
Speaker B:And I said, I just want to see what happens to you and what goes on.
Speaker B:So I forgot all about it, Tammy.
Speaker B:And I'm sitting at my desk 10 years later and a Facebook message pops up that says, still want to have lunch?
Speaker A:Oh, that's funny.
Speaker B:I looked at that message from Mark Zuckerberg and thought to myself, do I want to have lunch with the fifth richest man in the world?
Speaker B:Because that's what he was at the time.
Speaker B:And I said, heck yeah, I'm going to have lunch with the fifth richest man in the world.
Speaker B:And, boy, was that an experience.
Speaker B:In fact, we're due for 20 years.
Speaker B:That's coming up really soon here.
Speaker B:And with all the changes that have gone on, who knows if I'll get that same Facebook message.
Speaker B:And I even question if I go.
Speaker B:But I made a decision.
Speaker B:If I hear from Mark and wants to have another a 20 year lunch, I'm in.
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker A:Amen.
Speaker A:No, that's funny.
Speaker A:And yes, funny that it just goes back to, I'm thinking business wise, I'm picturing him going, okay, 10 years picturing.
Speaker A:I'm putting it on his little Google calendar like he did Tom Lenoble.
Speaker B:He did.
Speaker B:I was, believe me, I was amazed.
Speaker B:I was shocked.
Speaker B:You know, I went and I had to get through this unbelievable security.
Speaker B:And they took me upstairs and there's these two glass conference rooms.
Speaker B:One was his, one was Sheryl Sandberg's, and I'm on a couch in between.
Speaker B:So of course I positioned myself so I could sit, see as much as I could.
Speaker B:And I had opened a building there and we had graffiti art everywhere.
Speaker B:And they had taken cutouts of the walls and framed them and had them hanging as part of the artwork.
Speaker B:So the history of the company came, was really beautiful.
Speaker B:So I'm absorbing it all.
Speaker B:I'm watching Mark in a meeting.
Speaker B:He comes out of the room and we see each other.
Speaker B:I think we might have even hugged.
Speaker B:And all of a sudden there's a photographer takes this picture.
Speaker B:We're, you know, smiling and I'm thinking, oh, this is really cute.
Speaker B:They're going to put me in the, the newsletter, talk about me at the company meeting.
Speaker B:And then I realized in that moment, no, you're talking to the fifth richest man in the world.
Speaker B:They want a picture of you in case something happens that you were here.
Speaker A:Oh, that's funny.
Speaker B:We went into, we had 30 minutes and we went into this conference room that had this beautiful spread of food.
Speaker B:He and I didn't even touch it.
Speaker B:We were there for, talked for 45 minutes.
Speaker B:There were people waiting outside for him.
Speaker B:And it went by really quickly, but we had a really engaging conversation.
Speaker B:Conversation.
Speaker B:And it was, it was remarkable.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So that is amazing and an amazing story of just, you know, going from your.
Speaker A:I'm picturing your shack, as you humbly called it.
Speaker A:You use another word, not humbly, but.
Speaker A:And anybody can do anything.
Speaker A:It doesn't matter.
Speaker B:Like it's so true.
Speaker B:That shack had.
Speaker B:It was a one bedroom shack that my grandfather built.
Speaker B:My brother and I shared the bedroom at one point with a grandmother.
Speaker B:My mother and father's bedroom was the living room.
Speaker B:We never saw it as a bedroom.
Speaker B:My father heated these huge vats, vats of water on a kerosene stove, which I can still smell.
Speaker B:And that's how we bathe.
Speaker B:That's the hot water that went in the bathtub.
Speaker B:And I didn't know any difference.
Speaker B:I was a kid, right?
Speaker B:You don't know what's going on.
Speaker B:And fortunately for me, there was a lot of love.
Speaker B:I had two of the most incredible parents and.
Speaker B:But I remember I started school when I was five and I remember coming home one day from school and in my little five year old mind, not like I'm going to say it now, but I came home and I'm like, yeah, this isn't what this is supposed to look like.
Speaker B:And in some way or fashion I knew the wheel started turning then that this isn't what this is going to be about again.
Speaker B:I was a little five year old and.
Speaker B:But you know, it's an amazing story of shack to Fortune 500 boardrooms.
Speaker B:Shack through illnesses and difficult times, Shaq, through even high heels to what happened.
Speaker B:And so anything is possible, just as nothing is certain.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:That's so true.
Speaker A:So for the people out there who have been sitting there their whole lives going, well, I'm just destined.
Speaker A:Because you're not destined to anything.
Speaker A:You determine your own destiny.
Speaker A:You make your destiny.
Speaker A:And it starts up here.
Speaker A:And there's so many tools out there now.
Speaker A:Like people are like, oh, I've been depressed my whole life, I've been anti psychotics my whole life and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker A:Then find the right tools, find the right people, the community, the people that will support you.
Speaker A:They're out there.
Speaker A:They're so out there.
Speaker B:It just use your resilience.
Speaker B:Talk about risk.
Speaker B:Resilience and reinvention.
Speaker B:Sometimes we have to take risks.
Speaker B:It requires our resilience to be able to reinvent ourselves.
Speaker A:But I mean, we were saying it yesterday, you know, Henry Ford, if you've only always do what you've always done, you can always get what you've always gotten.
Speaker A:So shake it up a little bit.
Speaker A:If you're not right where you want to be right now, make a change.
Speaker A:But just make a change.
Speaker A:Just start moving.
Speaker A:Say, what do I need right now?
Speaker A:And what's going to make me feel a little better right now?
Speaker A:And then take one step towards that.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:That's really what it's all about.
Speaker A:Because nobody.
Speaker A:I mean, look at the people you hear it with, sports stars all the time making, you know, $300 million a year.
Speaker A:They grew up like you did.
Speaker A:When you picture your story, I picture Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory, you know, that family.
Speaker A:I picture you in that little setting.
Speaker A:I don't know why, but.
Speaker A:But he did well too, because of it.
Speaker A:He was a good person.
Speaker A:Not because he was handed something, because he was a good person and he made the right decision.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But anyway.
Speaker A:Oh, this has been so much fun.
Speaker A:So tell people where if they want to talk to you, they can reach you.
Speaker A:It will all be in the show notes, but the quickest, easiest place, the
Speaker B:easiest way is my website, www.tom lenoble.com.
Speaker B:i'm also on all the socials.
Speaker B:My email address is resilienceom lenoble.com I'd love to hear from you.
Speaker A:Sounds perfect.
Speaker A:And I'm going to put the link to your book.
Speaker A:I'm also going to throw your book in a series that I have called the Collective Wisdom Healing series, which is a bunch of courses and things and resources from all of the coaches, all of the doctors, everybody that I talk to.
Speaker A:If something sparks me is interesting, I throw it in there.
Speaker A:It's a free resource for people.
Speaker A:So thank you so much.
Speaker A:But before you go, what is your biggest, baddest, best message from Tom Lenoble?
Speaker B:Here it is.
Speaker B:I have a keynote and a message that I share a lot.
Speaker B:It's called the philanthropic mindset.
Speaker B:People say to me when they learn that I'm a philanthropist, they say this, tom, when I have money, I want to be a philanthropist.
Speaker B:Here's what I want you to know.
Speaker B:Your smile or a hello is a philanthropic gesture.
Speaker B:You can change someone's day, even the trajectory of their life by simply a smile and a hello.
Speaker B:Remember, you can give time.
Speaker B:You can use talents you have.
Speaker B:And yes, you can give treasures.
Speaker B:That is not always defined as dollars, checks, galas, or your name on a building.
Speaker B:I promise you this, by giving and sharing with others, you will get far more than you ever expected in return.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for that, Tom.
Speaker A:And thank you for coming on.
Speaker B:Delight.
Speaker A:Thank you, Delight.
Speaker B:Enjoy being with you.
Speaker B:I hope your viewers get something from our conversation today.
Speaker B:I love what you're doing and please do me a favor.
Speaker B:Yes, I'm waiting to hear when you're booked for your.
Speaker A:I will.
Speaker A:Oh, I will tell you when I'm booked for that cruise.
Speaker A:I will let you know for sure.
Speaker A:And for everybody else out there, you heard it.
Speaker A:Just one small gesture, one smile.
Speaker A:Tell someone to have a blessed day.
Speaker A:A lot of people are out there having really hard days right now.
Speaker A:You know, if you're 78 years old and you're working bagging groceries at the grocery store, you probably that is not your, your career of choice.
Speaker A:Let's say some people are struggling.
Speaker A:Just give them a smile, give them some love, and it will go a long way.
Speaker A:And you never know.
Speaker A:You never know when you actually save a life.
Speaker B:And remember, if you're expecting something in return, you're not truly giving from your heart.
Speaker B:It is not a philanthropic mindset gesture.
Speaker B:We give freely, without expectation.
Speaker B:That's where the success of it is.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:So thank you everybody and we will see you back next week.
Speaker A:Have a blessed day.
