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hello, everybody.

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Welcome back to another episode

of Tammy's Takes, where we take

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powerful conversations and turn

them into practical strategies

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you can use right here, right now.

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So if you haven't had a chance to listen

to yesterday's episode, I encourage you

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to go back and check it out, because

I had the privilege of speaking with

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Kira Shishkin, the CEO of Informed Now,

a unique news platform that's changing

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the way people consume information.

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Kira is a four-time entrepreneur,

a Forbes 30 Under 30 recipient, and

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someone whose life was forever changed

after surviving a devastating car

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accident as a child that left him in

a coma with a traumatic brain injury.

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During our conversation, he shared

his incredible story of resilience and

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recovery, but what really caught my

attention was something that he said.

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He said that attention is one

of our greatest superpowers.

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I couldn't stop thinking about that.

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Because while I absolutely agree

with him, I also believe attention

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is something else for many people.

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I think attention is information.

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In fact, I believe your attention

is one of the greatest clues your

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nervous system gives you about

what's happening beneath the surface.

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So many people come to me saying things

like, "Oh my God, Tammy, I can't focus.

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My mind never shuts off.

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I'm constantly distracted.

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I overthink everything.

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I can't stay present."

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And the list goes on.

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And I don't believe that attention

is actually the real problem.

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I think it's pointing us to something

much, much deeper than that.

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if you grew up in a dysfunctional

family like many of us did, your

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attention wasn't designed for peace.

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It was designed for survival.

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Your attention learned to scan a

room before you walked into it.

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It learned to notice change in someone's

voice, the way the cupboard slam,

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the sighs, the silence, the tension.

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Honestly, many of us became very good at

reading everyone else because somewhere

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along the way, your nervous system

learned a message that if I can predict

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what's coming, maybe I can stay safe.

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And that's not a character

flaw, it's survival.

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But the problem is that many

of us are still using that same

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survival strategy decades later.

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So today, your attention might bounce

from an email to social media, to

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worrying about your finances, to

replaying a conversation, to wondering

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if someone is upset with you.

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And then what do you tell yourself?

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You, of course, immediately

beat yourself up and you

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question, "What's wrong with me?

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Why can't I just focus?"

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Let's rethink this for a minute.

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Maybe nothing's wrong with you.

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Maybe your nervous system is simply doing

exactly what it learned to do years ago.

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One of the thing I loved about

Kira's interview was the exercise he

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shared called the attention audit.

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He encourages people to simply

notice where their attention

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goes throughout the day.

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I love that exercise because

awareness is always the first step.

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You can't change what you

don't notice, obviously.

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But I'd like to build on Kira's

idea and take it one step deeper.

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I call it the attention breadcrumb

exercise, and I know you're

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thinking, "Oh my gosh, Tammy,

here we go, another exercise."

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But I like you to be

able to practice things.

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I like you to be able to put them

into a tangible exercise that you

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can do to see if you can shift

just a tiny bit what's been going

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on and the patterns that you have.

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So I don't just want you to notice

where your attention goes for this.

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I want you to discover where it first

learned to go, and here's how it works.

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The next time you catch yourself

worrying, overthinking, replaying the

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conversation, or getting distracted,

or spiraling into worst-case

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scenarios, I want you to just pause.

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You know there is so

much power in the pause.

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Don't criticize yourself.

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Don't try to fix it.

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Just ask yourself, "Where

did my attention just go?"

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Maybe it went to fear.

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Maybe it went to money.

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Maybe it went to thinking

about your health.

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Maybe it went to thinking

about your children.

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Maybe it went to someone

else's opinion of you.

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Who cares?

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Just name it.

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Now ask yourself a second most important

question: When have I felt this before?

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Not yesterday, not last week,

but just go all the way back.

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This is to remind you of trying to

keep the peace in your home, trying

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not to make a mistake, trying to avoid

criticism, trying to earn someone's love.

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We're talking about walking

on eggshells here, and that is

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where your attention always went.

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Did you feel like you

always had to be perfect?

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Because here's what I've learned.

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Our attention rarely lives in the present.

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It follows old trails or,

in my case, breadcrumbs.

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It follows old emotional memories.

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It follows survival patterns our

nervous system created years,

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sometimes honestly even decades ago.

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Now, here's the most important part.

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Close your eyes for just a moment.

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Picture that younger version of yourself.

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Maybe they were six, eight,

10, 15, whatever it was.

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Just notice them.

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Now ask that younger version of

yourself one simple question: "What

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were you trying to protect me from?"

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Then listen.

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Just listen.

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Don't force an answer.

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Just be curious.

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You might be surprised by what comes

up, because that younger version of you

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wasn't trying to sabotage your life.

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They were trying to help you survive it.

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Now I want you to take a slow breath,

deep breath, put your hand over

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your heart, look around the room,

notice five things you can see, feel

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your feet on the floor, and quietly

remind yourself, "That was then.

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This is now.

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I don't have to keep looking for danger.

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Today, I get to choose

where my attention goes."

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healing isn't just about

changing your thoughts.

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It's about teaching your nervous

system that life is different

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now, that you don't have to scan

every single room you walk into.

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You don't have to anticipate

everybody's emotions.

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You don't have to prepare for

every single possible disaster

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that could possibly come your way.

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You can finally begin paying attention

to yourself, to your needs, to your joy,

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to your happiness, to your own peace.

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Because after working with hundreds

of people who grew up in dysfunctional

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homes, I've noticed something: Where

your attention lives, your life follows.

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So if your attention is always

looking for danger, your nervous

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system never gets to rest.

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If your attention is always focused

on what everyone else thinks, you

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slowly lose sight of yourself.

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And if your attention is always on

what's missing, you'll miss what's

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already beautiful about your world.

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So I wanna encourage you, begin

intentionally bringing your attention

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back to the present, back to your

body, back to your values, back to

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your own voice, back to what you

should be cherishing all along.

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And sometimes when you do this,

incredible things begin to happen.

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You begin rebuilding something that trauma

often takes away, and that is self-trust.

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You've heard me say it so many times.

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Because every time you choose where

your intention goes, instead of

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allowing your survival patterns to

choose for you, you're telling your

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nervous system, "We're safe now.

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I've got us."

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And that is where the

healing begins, my friends.

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So this week, I'd encourage

you to try both exercises.

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Start with Kira's attention audit,

and simply notice where your attention

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usually goes throughout the day.

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Then use the attention breadcrumb

exercise, and ask yourself,

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"Where did my attention go?

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When have I felt this before?

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And what was my younger self at that

time trying to protect me from?"

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Those are three questions that honestly

alone can uncover patterns that have

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been running your life for years.

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And if you're listening today and

you're thinking, "Oh, I know my

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attention is trying to tell me

something, I just don't know what it

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is," I'd love to help you discover it.

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I offer a complimentary clarity and

calm call, where we'll explore the

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hidden patterns behind your attention,

your triggers, your nervous system,

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and the beliefs that may have been

shaping your life-- since childhood.

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Sometimes we simply can't see our

patterns ourselves because we've been

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living inside of them for so long.

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So together, we can look at them.

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We'll begin connecting the dots so you

can move forward from survival into

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genuine self-trust and lasting healing.

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You can book your complimentary call

using the link in today's show notes.

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. Until next time, remember, your attention

isn't your enemy, it's a messenger.

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And when you begin listening to it with

curiosity instead of criticism, it might

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just lead you to the very place your

healing has been waiting all along.

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So until next time, my

friends, I love you guys.

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I will see you back, and I hope that

helped just even the tiniest little bit.

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Because tiny steps of healing

is how it all happens.

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Have a blessed day